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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29179530">spencer</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourlocalheartbreaker/pseuds/yourlocalheartbreaker'>yourlocalheartbreaker</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>healing [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Criminal Minds (US TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Caring Spencer Reid, Gen, Hotch Angst, Hotch Whump, Hurt Aaron Hotchner, Post-Episode: s05e09 100, Sad Aaron Hotchner, Spencer Reid Is A Good Friend</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 13:01:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>602</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29179530</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourlocalheartbreaker/pseuds/yourlocalheartbreaker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>after the events of 100, hotch needs help from his family to heal. </p>
<p>up first, is spencer.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aaron Hotchner &amp; Spencer Reid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>healing [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2142216</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>48</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>spencer</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>tw: guns</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He told Hotch that he needed help with his firearms qualification. He didn’t, but Emily told him it would be a good way to get him alone. Hotch also knew Reid wasn’t due to take one for a few months. He went anyways. He couldn’t tell you why.</p>
<p>Spencer knew Hotch was having trouble holding the gun steady. Who wouldn’t, after everything that happened that day? But he also knew that because of Hotch’s actions- which he would defend to his dying breath- Strauss had been forced to assess him. Psychologically. Physically. And that he needed to pass his gun qualification again.</p>
<p>Hotch had once been the best shot in the BAU. When Spencer told him to fire, his hands were shaking too badly- what if he hit the wrong person, why did they hurt so much, what had he done to Foyet that was so bad nobody let him see the body- to even try and pull that trigger.</p>
<p>Reid did not laugh, or mock him. He leant on his cane and he told Hotch three simple steps: Front sight. Trigger press. Follow through.</p>
<p>Hotch fired, but missed. Completely missed. And he fell to his knees and broke down in tears because the one thing, the one thing that had always been his was gone. He couldn’t do it. And Spencer just let him cry. He didn’t try and say everything would be fine, because he didn’t lie to Hotch.</p>
<p>But when his tears had ceased, Spencer gave him a slightly awkward, one-armed hug. He said that all he needed to do was pass, and they would work on the rest later. So Hotch picked up his gun, and tried again. And again. And again. And Spencer never lost his patience, even when Hotch did.</p>
<p>Hotch passed his gun qualification. Barely, but he did it.</p>
<p>And six months later, he was the best shot in the BAU once more. Because him and Reid met every week, just to see how things were going.</p>
<p>Reid also slipped a pair of wrist supports into Hotch’s go-bag, because he knew that stress caused flair-ups, and that Hotch was too proud to buy them himself. He also knew that Hotch would only wear them when he was alone or with him, so if it looked like it would be either particularly cold or a particularly bad case, they would room together.</p>
<p>And Reid kept the lamp on, not only for himself, but because it had been dark when Foyet broke into Aaron’s apartment. Reid understands what that darkness feels like, so Hotch never has to explain why the lamps have to be on.</p>
<p>One time, when he gets back from a pretty horrific meeting with the higher-ups, there are two bags on his desk. One contains a night light for Jack, with a message saying that The Super Special Dr Reid thinks being scared of the dark is normal and nobody should make fun of him for it.</p>
<p>The other has glow-in-the-dark stars. There is no note, but Hotch knows what Reid is saying. Him and Jack pick their favourite constellations, and that is how Hotch puts them up on the ceiling in his own bedroom because screw everyone else’s opinion. He sends the photo to Spencer, who doesn’t respond then, but suddenly finds reasons to come over.</p>
<p>It doesn’t fix everything, but Aaron learns. He learns that love does not carry the condition of perfection, because if it does, it is not love. He learns that sometimes, loving someone is to give them the space to just be, and that is what Spencer did.</p>
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